I was just looking back through previous posts and remembering how I felt at this time last year – everything was still new, exciting, fresh, and busy. I was optimistic about my future and had a pretty good grasp of reality. I was out with some friends last night after rehearsal – they don’t know [...]
Posts Tagged as ‘doubt’
October 27, 2009
cloudy and rainy
My body is shutting down – I’ve lost 5 pounds then gained it back in a weekend. I feel like crap. I look like crap. My clothes don’t fit anymore and I’m devastated. How would he ever want me back looking like this… if he ever could want me…or anyone…I can’t believe I’m back to [...]
October 22, 2009
struggling
I feel like an idiot. A weak, stupid idiot. I can’t stop thinking about him and what I may have done wrong, even though I know I didn’t do any one thing wrong but that doubt is always there saying that maybe it wasn’t one thing… maybe it was a combination of things. Logic says [...]
September 15, 2009
Lack of Focus
Week 2 has only just begun and I already feel like we’ve been at this for a million days now. The newbies have arrived, the classes are in full swing, papers are being printed, coffee is being consumed by the tank-full and yet, I really don’t care about any of it this time around. I [...]
September 1, 2009
The Freak Out List
10. course outline still *in progress* but will finish today
9. neck & shoulder still bothering me (I suppose carrying a 20lb backpack to work today didn’t help)
8. not being able to go to the gym or play saxophone due to stupid neck and shoulder
7. asbestos removal going on beside me – I know it’s safe [...]
